I felt like I would be a mother of preschoolers for eons. It's amazing for me to believe that today I officially have more children in middle school and high school than elementary school (3/2). To mark the years and the growth of the children, we started a tradition suggested to me by my good friend and mother of six, Beth Hamann.

Each year on the first day of school we have each of the kids line up in front of the house, oldest to youngest, and they hold a sheet of paper with "K", "1", "2" or whatever their grade is. If little ones roam into the pic, that's okay, but it's all about the ones who are holding the sheets.




I plan to compile a small album for our family and each set of grandparents. How fun to be able to flip through and see the growth year by year! It's also amazing to see how many homes we've lived in (Yikes!)Eventually, we should end up with about 23 first day of school pictures...in 2023! :) Maybe we'll even slip in a few graduation pics as they happen, from high school and college!

Want to start this tradition and your children have already started school for the year? Tomorrow morning take your first pic before school. Capture that memory this year, and next year catch it on the first day of school.

May, almost competing with the Christmas season in terms of busy schedules, can be so overwhelming that even with your best intentions, things fall through the cracks.  Summer begins, and the fun begins! With children home, camps to go to, VBS to work, then packing for vacation and the laundry aftermath when you return, often those things that slipped through the cracks never get caught!

If you are sending your children back to school and in your organizing come across announcements for high school graduates who you never congratulated, do not fret. You have a great opportunity before you!

Contact the parents to get the Fall mailing address for their child. If they are attending a university, on their first week of class, send them a care package with an encouraging letter, and include a gift card or cash gift. All college students would love this. College student or not, no one minds receiving a gift in the mail even if it is a little late.

See? You actually have spread out the fun. They had so many activities and gifts to open in May. Now is the perfect time to send a gift!

Excuse me, I need to go email a few out-of-state parents....

 

When I was a young mother of two active boys born 16 months apart, my MOPS Group was my lifeline. Those days were filled with trying to quiet the cries of a colicky baby, keep my curious toddler from injuring himself or the baby, keep everyone fed and in clean clothes. Days were lonely at times as my husband often traveled and our parents lived a thousand miles away. I lost 15 pounds during that season because I was so busy that I went whole days forgetting to eat. A shower was a luxury, and too much to expect on some days.

 
Although MOPS was one of my only morning outings for the week, I was lucky to get there within 15 minutes of the start time because I ran late everywhere I went. I remember one morning after I got the boys strapped into car seats I smelled one in need of a diaper change. As I was changing him, my toddler got into the kitchen cabinet. When I walked into the kitchen after changing the baby, I saw Dillon sitting in the middle of a pile of glass from a broken Pyrex bowl. Little shards of glass penetrated his skin and blood seeped out of little cuts on his arms and legs. I almost gave up on the MOPS meeting at that point, but forged ahead. I picked the glass out of his skin, stuck his white clothes in a sink of cold water, applied bandaids, put new clothes on him, then changed myself, as I had blood on my clothes also. By that time, the baby was crying, because it was time for his nap. I just loaded them in the car, left the mess for later, and fell into my MOPS leaders' arms once I arrived.



Once those days passed, and I had a couple more children, the Lord gave me the chance to start encouraging younger moms through speaking at Phoenix area MOPS groups. One morning in late January 2003 only three moms showed up to hear my talk at a local church, but I didn't mind. I was thrilled to just have my children in childcare and a chance to share and discuss ideas with other mothers.



That day I left the meeting with joy overflowing from my heart, sensing the joy that one has when they feel they've been an instrument in God's hand to touch and make a difference in others lives.



After putting my children down for naps, I thanked God and rejoiced in the morning as I mopped the floors. I still remember where in my family room I was standing when I sensed God said, “Do more.” Those words sent me on a three-month journey to discern what that meant. After a number of confirmations, I realized the Lord was leading me to get that speech down on paper – to write a book about it, what eventually became Coach Mom.



I sat in on sessions at the MOPS International Convention last year with over 5,000 MOPS leaders, and longed for a chance to share the message of Coach Mom. I am thankful to the leaders of MOPS International, who in January invited me to speak on Coach Mom at the 2009 MOPS International Convention in Nashville, TN. The MOPS ministry encouraged me as a young mother, and now I have a chance to give back to others coming behind me.

As the end of the school year draws near and the papers entering the home hit an annual high, it is important to have a plan. Here are some time tested tips that I have picked up over the years on how to get a handle on your paper monster.

• Trash it - Throw away everything except papers that best demonstrate the child's talent (put in the bottom of the recycled trash bin, unseen by small people) With oversized artwork, take a photograph it (you can even photograph your child holding it), then throw it away unless it is special enough to frame.

• Find a Home - Assign a drawer for each child in a central location to be the “keeper paper” drawer. I picked up a small chest of drawers in a garage sale, painted it, and assigned a drawer for each child.

• Memory Files - As a drawer gets full, go through it, pick out a few more papers and file the true keepers in plastic bins with labeled hanging files.

Tips for managing Mom’s papers:

• Not Sure? File it - What other topics do you need in your filing system? Don’t limit yourself to just bills and papers such as bank statements, insurance papers, and warranty information. Ask yourself this question: What is it that makes stacks on my counter or desk? Categorize it, then start a file. If you can't bring yourself to make a file for it, then throw it away. If you can't bring yourself to throw it away, then go ahead and make a file for it.

• Coupons - I used to save the grocery ads each week and put them on the counter so they would be handy for checking out the sales. One day I realized that if I continued at this rate, I would have grocery ads on the end of my counter permanently. I now have a file labeled “Current grocery ads.” Each week when the new ads come, I take out what is in the file and put in the new week's ads. When it's time to go shopping, I can access them immediately.

• Specialty Filing System - Make your files work for you and your interests. Organize files in a way that will encourage you to use them, and have files for your interests. Some files that fit my special interests are:

• My calligraphy and artwork originals: I can make copies from them.
• Kids' stickers: Keep them for projects when the kids need an activity.
• Pending: For paperwork that is in process, such as fund-raising packets, memory verse papers, birthday party invitations that need to be saved for addresses and directions.
• Home ideas: Clip ideas, then toss the magazine. But do so sparingly...remember, the internet is a great file-free idea resource.
• Health file for each member of our family: Jotting down dates of sicknesses and other health-related information could prove to be helpful in the future.
• Cards to save: In this file, keep the cards with the rare handwritten message.
• Drawing lesson plans and ideas: I reference this file as I prepare to teach summer drawing classes each year.
• Speech outlines: I save these for future speaking engagements. I also save anecdotes and stories related to my frequent topics.
• Kids' extracurricular activity information: Brochures on tennis camps, gymnastics classes, community center classes, and such go in this one.

Yesterday my wonderfully efficient eight-year-old awoke and followed his normal routine...made his bed, put away his folded clean clothes, got dressed, emptied the dishwasher, and ate breakfast (unfortunately only one out of five children does these things each morning without being reminded).

Micah's routine kept him from seeing the message I had left for him a message on a sheet of large paper on the kitchen island, the most prominent spot I could find: "Dishes in the dishwasher are DIRTY. Please do not unload." By the time I returned from my early morning run, he was eating a bowl of cereal and telling me that the dishwasher's top rack had only been half full. I hesitantly peered into the dishwasher, to find it empty of its dirty dishes. I was reminded of a quote:

"My child helped me snap beans today...she kept the bad and threw the good away. I think how patient God must be when I help Him the way she helps me." - Unknown

God likes us to be doing something for Him. Our efforts to obey Him please Him greatly. But we must make sure we don't get stuck in our routines, and our plans. He has given us a message to read each morning. Is it sitting in a prominent place in your home? We must discipline ourselves to read his Word daily -- it will often redirect us to unexpected places. It will give us the instructions we need -- even when He is just telling us to wait.

Thank you, Father, for your patience with us as we sometimes strive in our own efforts to do something for you. Help us to seek you each day, so that we might do and be all that you want.

The other day Karis Joy was sprinkling cinnamon sugar on her toast, and said, "Butter is the glue that holds on the glitter!" Spoken like a true kindergartner. As I've posted about getting children’s help in dinner tasks, I have to share this story I received over email:

My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first mistake).

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn’t they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for “special occasions.”

Now fast forward a few months….it’s Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting the table with a “special occasion” napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn’t hang off the edge!

My mother asked me why I used these, and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. “But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!”

We’ve had some funny looking tables over the years as the children have taken over the role of setting the table, but thankfully I don’t have a story like that to share…yet.

Thousands of people will be heading to Dallas next week for a great opportunity in Christian publishing. I encourage you to come. Readers and writers alike can benefit from all that is being offered through the Christian Book Expo, held at the Dallas Convention Center March 20-22, 2009.

Thousands of books will be on the exhibit floor, along with their authors. One hundred fifty workshops are available. An extravagant KidZone offers fun for the children, too. Special evening events with speakers such as Max Lucado and Thelma Wells will also be held.

At http://www.christianbookexpo.com/, enter the code "cbe5off" to get $5 off the regular ticket price, making it only $24 a day for a whole day-full of opportunities.

I will be signing my Coach Mom books at the New Hope Publishers booth on Friday 5-5:45 p.m. and also Saturday morning at 9 a.m. I hope to see you there!

I can't think of many things more defeating than putting effort in to cooking a meal for my family and hearing the whines begin. I would rather be doing a hundred things other than cooking. Whining can quickly pull down the healthy motivation I've built up in my mind by thinking about how much this same meal would cost at a restaurant.

We need to stop the dinin' whinin', moms. How?

First, let's make every effort to give children a chance not whine.

Make the meal as appealing to children as possible.

Keep foods separate on the plate. From my experience, it seems the child's palate is much more inclined to foods that are eaten separately. For example, grilled chicken strips, bread, baby carrot sticks, cheese chunks, and apple slices. No fancy recipe books needed!

Establish some rules:

You might let the children know that they do not have to eat, but they must sit at the dinner table with the family and forego any snacks or desserts the rest of the night.
Another rule might be to say everyone must try at least two bites of every food on the menu.

In our home we give the children the option to make their own dinner if they don't like what I have prepared. The rule is that it may only consist of raw vegetables and fruits and a few other simple foods that they can prepare for themselves.

They usually end up with a plate of baby carrots, string cheese, handful of almonds, banana, and a boiled egg. (I try to always have boiled eggs available in the refrigerator as they are a great source of protein.) Often their dinner is a healthier choice than the casserole I've made. Usually by age four they are capable of getting food for themselves and cleaning up their mess.

But if whining still continues...
Let children know:

1. ...whoever whines is volunteering to clear off the dinner table afterward.

2....whoever continues to whine volunteers to prepare the next meal for the family.

This second option can be quite interesting (and time consuming). We've actually only had to go this far with two children, ages 10 and 7 at the time. They each started out full of confidence, thinking this would be a fun and easy venture. They would show us how to make a good meal.

Both quickly realized bringing out all courses at the same time and pleasing everyone were difficult things. One son held us captive at the table no less than 90 minutes as he struggled through it.

We didn't hear much whining after those nights, though it's been a few years now and I'm starting to hear rumblings again....It may be time for a refresher course.

Dear Brenna,

I can't seem to break out of this cycle: at 4 p.m. I look at the clock and panic, realizing I haven't thought about dinner plans. I stare blankly into the refrigerator and pantry, thinking I really should make something healthy. Most of the time I give in to making hotdogs and macaroni and cheese or heating up chicken nuggets, just because it is easy and I know I won't have to bear the complaints of my children. Or, worse yet, I break the budget on fast food pickups on the way home from soccer practice. My children, ages 3,5, and 7, and husband usually sit on the sofa and watch television as they eat. I often do not even sit down! Can you help me?

Shelly

---

Dear Shelly,

I understand how you feel. And so do many others. I’ve heard that 80% of families don't know at 4 p.m. what they are preparing for dinner. I struggled with this for years, until I realized ten minutes of planning every two weeks and an intentional trip to the grocery store could give me a whole new attitude.

I used to think I hated cooking, but what I hated was that feeling of not being prepared. I'm still not crazy about cooking, but my motivation skyrockets when I calculate the cost for a similar meal at a restaurant for our family of seven: I'm saving seventy dollars in only 45 minutes!

Every two weeks make a list of 10-12 days' meals, knowing a few of those nights might be leftover nights. After a trip to the grocery store, you can have look 4 p.m. in the eye with confidence each day.

In order to be most intentional with your dinner time, turn the television off, gather the whole family at the table and use that time as a way for your family members to connect with each other.

When you do these things, I think you will actually start looking forward to the dinner hour!

Brenna

Which of the following do you think is most important to child development?

A. school
B. playtime
C. the family dinner
D. story time

The hour just before dinner is a great time to develop a bad attitude. Just ask my kids. Or me, for that matter. I don’t particularly enjoy the process of preparing meals.

• sets the table, being creative if inspired (stuffed animal centerpieces are fine)
• decides who sits where (unless the family enjoys the predictability of assigned seats)
• delivers things needed during dinner (refills on drinks, salt and pepper, an extra utensil, or extra napkins)
• receives an encouraging word and thanks from each family member. Clears the table afterwards
• does not grumble or complain, knowing that grumbling is actually volunteering to be on KP for the next dinner!

Make it a Priority Something happens when we sit down facing each other (instead of the television) at the table and “break bread” together. Connection is made. And this practice sends a message to our children about the importance of time together, and the value of our relationships. Family dinners are difficult to keep up regularly, especially when children grow old enough to be involved in evening practices and activities. But it is a healthy goal to try and sit together at the dinner table at least four nights a week. If you can’t pull that off, you might need to take that as a sign of overcommitment and drop a few things.

Lighten up and let go of some expectations. Make meals simple, and serve them with love. Your goal is time together. Lots of seemingly normal dinners add up to hours of accrued quality time together through the years.

• Find out what simple meals your family likes: build-your-own sandwiches; raw vegetables, boiled eggs, cheese and crackers, and fruit.
• Pick up a rotisserie chicken or some other prepared food on your way home from work or other activity. Who cooks the food is not what matters; taking the time to sit and eat together is what matters.
• Keep paper plates and plastic cups on hand for when your schedule is tight.

Be Creative
If you get in late from work, if you or your husband work odd hours, if you are a single parent working a long shift, or if you have team practices to work around, extra creativity will be required to plan and pull off the family dinner. Depending on your circumstance, consider:

• Provide an early nutritious snack for the children, then have a late dinner together.
• Let the children eat dinner and bathe; then sit together later at the family dinner table to eat dessert.
• Eat an early family dinner together, and then allow the children a healthy snack before bed.
• Utilize the slow cooker to have meals ready when you arrive home. Focus family celebrations around dinner time

Use a “You are special today!” plate at dinner to honor a family member for a special occasion or accomplishment: birthday, graduation, outstanding grade, an act of honor or courage, dramatically exhibition of a positive character quality...even potty training success.

The possibilities are endless. Either purchase an official “You are special today!” plate or just use a plate that is different from your everyday plates and make it known to the family that this is the designated special plate. Make sure each member is getting the daily nutrition needed. The family dinner feeds body and spirit.

I hate to say it, but my children inspired this posting this morning before they left for school. 

Do you have problems with your children bickering or treating eachother unkindly?  What mom doesn't?

Are you ready to give up nagging your kids to get along? See immediate results with these tactics from a mom whose been there.

5 ways to nip sibling bickering in the bud:

Let them know...

1....they are volunteering to do the other child's chore for the day if they say another unkind word.
2....they are volunteering to kiss the other child's feet (if chore is already done) if they say another unkind word.
3....they will list three character qualities they admire about their sibling since they've said unkind words.
4.....they will hold hands and skip back and forth across the front lawn five times together if they can't work things out within one minute (remember to set the timer).
5....they will kiss on the lips if they can't work things out within one minute (you probably won't need the timer if you pull this one out!)

Sometimes bad times calls for drastic measures...and for eight and ten-year-old boys, kissing eachother on the lips is about as drastic as it gets.

Welcoming a New Year means welcoming a new set of resolutions. Each year I strive to bring more efficiency and order into our daily routines. If I'm not intentional with our mornings, they can easily spin out of control into a chaotic, hurried rush to get our five children out the door to school.

Over the years, I have learned that preparation goes a long way in cutting the chaos. So, over the next three months I am going to share my time-tested tricks to minimize morning chaos. This post is about the is the weekend sack lunch shortcut:

• Make sandwiches on Saturday for the week following. Put the sandwiches in baggies, label contents with a permanent marker and store them in a bin in the freezer. On a school-day morning, the most time-consuming part of making a sack lunch has been eliminated.
  
• Children can help. By kindergarten, children can pack their lunchboxes for themselves if sandwich bins, water bottles, pretzel packs, applesauce and plastic spoons, and fruits are kept in easy-to-reach places.
• By second grade, assign the children the Saturday-sandwich-making task, and rejoice...your lunchbox packing days are over!
• Worried about the taste of a sandwich that has been frozen? Sandwiches such as turkey, ham and cheese, and peanut butter all freeze well. They will thaw to the perfect temperature by lunchtime. This also eliminates the need for an ice pack during hot months.

The only thing left to do is reset your alarm clock for that extra 15 minutes of sleep you'll be getting.

Dear Brenna: My daughter just turned two and I find myself struggling more and more with impatience and snapping at her in anger. I'm seeing things in myself that I don't like, and I hope I haven't done any permanent damage to our relationship. I'm disappointed and frustrated. - Susan

Dear Susan: I understand exactly where you are coming from. I remember telling my husband when I had three preschoolers at home (one of which was a struggling potty-trainer) that he had the easier job. I told him at least he was dealing with people that could reason. These little three-foot tall persons have the ability to test you to the end of your patience.

Susan, first realize that none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Apologize when you realized you've spoken in anger to your child when you speak in anger, and pray that God will help you do better next time. This restores your relationship and also teaches your child humility. The words, “I was wrong” are hard to speak, but necessary. Your child will learn to speak those same words if you model it. In twenty years her spouse will thank you for it!

I don't like to cook. Having a full-time cook would not rob me of any joy, in fact. The thing that motivates me to cook is calculating each night what it would cost for my family of seven to eat that same meal out at a restaurant. When I realize I'm saving $75, I do get motivated.


It is a time-intensive effort to make a ring, but when I can multiply my efforts and make ten to twelve all in one day, I feel empowered. Especially when parchment paper covers my pans so that I don’t have a mess to clean up afterward. This year I set up an extra table in my garage and plugged in all four breadmakers. I even kept some of the ingredients handy in between baking days.

What recipe do you have that you could double or triple to make for more kitchen efficiency?

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23

“Dear Father, may all our work in our homes be done as unto you, so that even the most seemingly insignificant job finds purpose. Give us wisdom and insight to work smart and with joy. Amen.”

Last time we talked about stepping out to follow God on a great adventure. What holds you back? Is it the fear of commitment? The problem with commitment is it just seems so...so...permanent. This photo of Karis is moments before she got her ears pierced. Do you see the fear in her eyes? Again, it just seems so permanent.

We read in the Bible about people just like us who stepped out to follow God. And I bet we could have found a hint of fear in their eyes as they stepped out. We know how the story ends, but they didn't. Think of little David looking up at Goliath and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo about to be thrown in the fiery furnace. They were committed.

“Father, thank you for giving us the courage to step out and make commitments that need to be made, even when a hint of fear looms in our eyes. Amen.”

“Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

What is it that you feel you are supposed to do, but you've been hesitating? Is there anything nagging in your thoughts and in your heart that you feel needs to happen? What can you do to step out and help make it happen?

What holds you back? The fear of failure? Uncertainties? This photo of Micah is a great picture of taking a leap of faith. What fears do you need to abandon in order to take a leap and follow God where you feel He is leading you?

“An adventure awaits you, an opportunity to explore and create a future. If the future terrifies you, take one moment at a time.” -- Erwin McManus, Seizing Your Divine Moment

“Father, thank you that you know the plans you have for us. Thank you that you promise to equip us and provide for us everything we need to do what you lead us to do…one moment at a time. Amen.”

We welcomed my 14-year-old son home from Africa this month. Dillon went on mission with a group of adults from our church to South Africa and Zambia. “Dr. Dillon”, as his group called him, had the privilege of fitting hundreds of people with free eye glasses and even being assisted by a registered nurse (thank you, Leann). I heard from a number of friends on the trip that Dillon, on his second mission trip to Africa, threatened to lose his passport more than once.

As we welcomed him home at the airport decked out in our African clothes, he told us about getting to preach his first sermon at a Zambian church, and being invited back to preach the next Sunday by the pastor. “Sorry, I have to... get back to school,” he said.

Dillon may be home, but he left part of his heart in Africa. As he looks at the wooden African animals in his room, his South African flag, and his world map, he dreams of how the Lord might use him there in the future.

“I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4

“Thank you, Father, for working in a personal way in my children's lives and for using them as soldiers for your Kingdom. Please protect their hearts, minds, and bodies in Christ Jesus. Amen.”

Our garden yielded a great crop of tomatoes for its first year. We were pleased the plants flourished all summer, survived the August heat, and even turned out around 50 more tomatoes this Fall.

Pictured are our expert tomato pickers, Micah and Karis, who kept the ripe tomatoes coming to the kitchen each day.

My husband created a favorite sandwich we like to make with our fresh, flavorful tomatoes:



Open-Faced Tomato and Provolone on Sourdough

• sourdough bread slices
• Miracle Whip spread
• provolone cheese slices
• sliced tomatoes

Place provolone cheese slices on the sourdough bread slices and toast under broiler. After toasting, spread on some Miracle Whip spread and place sliced tomatoes on top. Salt and pepper and enjoy a delicious combination of tastes. (If you don't have homegrown tomatoes, I recommend the ones on the vine (Campari) in the grocery store.)

“Father, thank you for your good gifts to us. Thank you for allowing us to see fruit grow, our children grow, and our own hearts grow in your love and grace. Amen.”

Are you frustrated with your busy life with children?
Do you seem frazzled most of the time?
Are you wondering how you can get a handle on bringing order to your home life?

I'd love to discuss with you some ideas for bringing peace and order to your family life, and making most of this season of life. I have a husband and five children of my own who I am trying to keep up with, and I love exchanging ideas with other moms. Let's talk.