The other day Karis Joy was sprinkling cinnamon sugar on her toast, and said, "Butter is the glue that holds on the glitter!" Spoken like a true kindergartner. As I've posted about getting children’s help in dinner tasks, I have to share this story I received over email:

My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first mistake).

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn’t they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for “special occasions.”

Now fast forward a few months….it’s Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting the table with a “special occasion” napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn’t hang off the edge!

My mother asked me why I used these, and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. “But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!”

We’ve had some funny looking tables over the years as the children have taken over the role of setting the table, but thankfully I don’t have a story like that to share…yet.

Dear Brenna,

I can't seem to break out of this cycle: at 4 p.m. I look at the clock and panic, realizing I haven't thought about dinner plans. I stare blankly into the refrigerator and pantry, thinking I really should make something healthy. Most of the time I give in to making hotdogs and macaroni and cheese or heating up chicken nuggets, just because it is easy and I know I won't have to bear the complaints of my children. Or, worse yet, I break the budget on fast food pickups on the way home from soccer practice. My children, ages 3,5, and 7, and husband usually sit on the sofa and watch television as they eat. I often do not even sit down! Can you help me?

Shelly

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Dear Shelly,

I understand how you feel. And so do many others. I’ve heard that 80% of families don't know at 4 p.m. what they are preparing for dinner. I struggled with this for years, until I realized ten minutes of planning every two weeks and an intentional trip to the grocery store could give me a whole new attitude.

I used to think I hated cooking, but what I hated was that feeling of not being prepared. I'm still not crazy about cooking, but my motivation skyrockets when I calculate the cost for a similar meal at a restaurant for our family of seven: I'm saving seventy dollars in only 45 minutes!

Every two weeks make a list of 10-12 days' meals, knowing a few of those nights might be leftover nights. After a trip to the grocery store, you can have look 4 p.m. in the eye with confidence each day.

In order to be most intentional with your dinner time, turn the television off, gather the whole family at the table and use that time as a way for your family members to connect with each other.

When you do these things, I think you will actually start looking forward to the dinner hour!

Brenna

Which of the following do you think is most important to child development?

A. school
B. playtime
C. the family dinner
D. story time

The hour just before dinner is a great time to develop a bad attitude. Just ask my kids. Or me, for that matter. I don’t particularly enjoy the process of preparing meals.

• sets the table, being creative if inspired (stuffed animal centerpieces are fine)
• decides who sits where (unless the family enjoys the predictability of assigned seats)
• delivers things needed during dinner (refills on drinks, salt and pepper, an extra utensil, or extra napkins)
• receives an encouraging word and thanks from each family member. Clears the table afterwards
• does not grumble or complain, knowing that grumbling is actually volunteering to be on KP for the next dinner!

Make it a Priority Something happens when we sit down facing each other (instead of the television) at the table and “break bread” together. Connection is made. And this practice sends a message to our children about the importance of time together, and the value of our relationships. Family dinners are difficult to keep up regularly, especially when children grow old enough to be involved in evening practices and activities. But it is a healthy goal to try and sit together at the dinner table at least four nights a week. If you can’t pull that off, you might need to take that as a sign of overcommitment and drop a few things.

Lighten up and let go of some expectations. Make meals simple, and serve them with love. Your goal is time together. Lots of seemingly normal dinners add up to hours of accrued quality time together through the years.

• Find out what simple meals your family likes: build-your-own sandwiches; raw vegetables, boiled eggs, cheese and crackers, and fruit.
• Pick up a rotisserie chicken or some other prepared food on your way home from work or other activity. Who cooks the food is not what matters; taking the time to sit and eat together is what matters.
• Keep paper plates and plastic cups on hand for when your schedule is tight.

Be Creative
If you get in late from work, if you or your husband work odd hours, if you are a single parent working a long shift, or if you have team practices to work around, extra creativity will be required to plan and pull off the family dinner. Depending on your circumstance, consider:

• Provide an early nutritious snack for the children, then have a late dinner together.
• Let the children eat dinner and bathe; then sit together later at the family dinner table to eat dessert.
• Eat an early family dinner together, and then allow the children a healthy snack before bed.
• Utilize the slow cooker to have meals ready when you arrive home. Focus family celebrations around dinner time

Use a “You are special today!” plate at dinner to honor a family member for a special occasion or accomplishment: birthday, graduation, outstanding grade, an act of honor or courage, dramatically exhibition of a positive character quality...even potty training success.

The possibilities are endless. Either purchase an official “You are special today!” plate or just use a plate that is different from your everyday plates and make it known to the family that this is the designated special plate. Make sure each member is getting the daily nutrition needed. The family dinner feeds body and spirit.

I don't like to cook. Having a full-time cook would not rob me of any joy, in fact. The thing that motivates me to cook is calculating each night what it would cost for my family of seven to eat that same meal out at a restaurant. When I realize I'm saving $75, I do get motivated.


It is a time-intensive effort to make a ring, but when I can multiply my efforts and make ten to twelve all in one day, I feel empowered. Especially when parchment paper covers my pans so that I don’t have a mess to clean up afterward. This year I set up an extra table in my garage and plugged in all four breadmakers. I even kept some of the ingredients handy in between baking days.

What recipe do you have that you could double or triple to make for more kitchen efficiency?

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23

“Dear Father, may all our work in our homes be done as unto you, so that even the most seemingly insignificant job finds purpose. Give us wisdom and insight to work smart and with joy. Amen.”